Some of the unusual comments that people make ..... to laugh or cry!!!!

Customer : "I don't think theres anything wrong with it, it just doesn't work"
Tech : "Doh!"

Customer : "I think theres just something little wrong with this hole on my amplifier"
Tech : "Which hole?
Customer : "This one where I plug my guitar in" - pointing to the input socket
                               Tech : "Why, whats wrong with the hole?
                               Customer : "I don't get any sound any more when I plug my guitar into it"
                               Tech :  .... just shakes his head and walks away.

Customer : "I have a small job here for you, it probably isn't much - some smoke came out the back before it stopped working".
Tech : "Sure, probably only the power amplifier stage and power supply, maybe also the transformer - have you considered purchasing a new amplifier - it souldn't cost    much"?

Customer on the phone : "My Roland keyboard is not working - have you any idea how much it will cost to repair"?
Tech : "Please hold while I fetch my Crystal Ball"

Customer : "This amp was in for repairs a week or so ago, I came to use it only yesterday and it smoked"
Tech : (Puts quizical expression on his face) -  "Lets check the records and see what we did last...." (fiddles with computer) ...
"Oh, I see you collected this unit from us almost four months ago, we replaced two broken knobs for you for $10.00"
Customer : "Well, isn't there some warranty or something"?
Tech : "DOH"!

..... Back to work

****************** EMAIL messages and other things ******************

Hows this one....(email)
"Hello my name is J*** I have an atari lynx that has recently
stopped working i think it maybe the capacitor? Can you fix that? I just
work at the ******* down the road i was wondering if you do would i be able to drop it off after i finish work one day?"
.... we wondered which of the approximate 435 capacitors she was referring to. 

Tech response: "Well lovey, if you're so bloody smart why don't you 'fix' it yourself - maybe you should have studied to write English rather than electronics!"  

..and this email, someone attempting to get a freebee:
"We met some time ago, I used to work at *****. I have a laptop that is about 4 years old and used to work fine. I've checked the screen and its OK. I think its probably just a loose wire somewhere, I opened it but cannot find it. Can you take a look at it?"

Tech response: "There ain't that many wires to come loose in a laptop Clever Dick - don't waste my time you wannabe free-loader!"

And then you get the chancers, they're the worst of the lot!!!...

Scenario: Bass amplifier brought in for repairs. 2plus hours spent dismantling locating a dry joint, reassemble and test. Repair amount $160.00
Customer picks up amp and returns it two weeks later, amp cutting out. Re-inspect amp to find another dry joint.
Go through the motions of soak testing again, another two hours spent on the amp. Customer collects, no charge.
Customer comes back two days later claiming that his speaker cabinet is sounding fuzzy, and that it must be due to the repair.
Brings speaker cabinet into shop and wastes another hour strumming the bass guitar and listening to everything rattling in the shop from the big loud bass notes.
Customer cannot understand that if indeed the old speaker cabinet was damaged, it probably happen when the original fault occurred.
customer leaves speaker in shop requesting we test the speakers - which we did (at no charge!!).

Tech comment: "Throw the wanker and his crappy gear out!"

Hows this beaut!!
Customer brings in two hi-fi column speaker informing us his kids had a wild party while he was away, resulting in damaged speakers.
We replace a total of six LF and two HF drivers, June 2009.
In December 2009 he return with his wife complete with bad attitude, the two HF drivers had stopped working. We check them, both open circuit, obviously overdriven.
Out of sympathy with the irate customer we replace them at cost only (costing us about 1 hour labour).
Low-and-behold, July 2010, thirteen months after the original job, both columns are brought back into the shop with open circuit tweeters, and an irate customer mumbling something to the effect of warranty.
After the customer contacting the supplier and them washing their hands of him, we decided to do the same - we just can't afford to sponsor other peoples entertainment.